Do you have a friend who is always doing better than you? Has nicer things, a perfect life, without many worries?
I used to suffer from jealousy a lot. Being a middle child, plus having a high achieving older sibling. I love my older sibling a lot, who was always my hero, and I express that all the time. However, during most of my childhood, I felt incompetent and worse… worthless.
Needless to say, I am an expert in jealousy and how to handle it, because I had to learn it in order to achieve emotional success in life. Now I am at peace most of the times, and my quality of life is better than ever. Let me share some tips on how to control the feeling of jealousy, and even better, how to use it to your advantage.
First of all, jealousy is a great sign, so listen to it. Whatever you envy or are jealous of is a sign that you want the same thing as the person who has it. So that means, the thing you are jealous of is what you need to double down on in your own life. Used correctly, the feeling of jealousy can be a great tool to understand your deep inner desires. Jealousy is a fabulous tool to gain clarity.
Be aware not allow this sticky, gooey, yucky and ugly feeling to take over your kind nature. You are a creator, not a fixer nor a destroyer. Own the jealousy. You master it, and let it work FOR you, and not have it become your master and you slave to the horrible feeling.
Step 2: Here is how you cure jealousy. You come to clearly understand what it is that makes you jealous about the person, then you are going to go up to that person, look at them in the eye, and compliment them.
If you see a stunning woman, and you feel jealous, maybe it is something about her that you are aspiring for. Her looks? Her fit bod? Her fabulous clothes? Her lifestyle? What is it? Talk to yourself.
If you see someone who is successful, determine what success quality of that person you admire.
So when you feel jealousy, tell them how wonderful they are, and be specific to that thing that triggers the ooey gooey yucky and ugly. Make sure to never use backhanded compliments here! Use plain, clear, to-the-point language. If you like her clothes, tell her. If you like his lifestyle, or how much money she makes, or the car he drives, tell it to them straight up!
The immediate effect: You will sense the jealousy melt away. You are actually doing yourself a favour by now being more clear than ever in what you want, and having a model (this person you are jealous of), and verbalizing it as a compliment has made it positive in your mind. In this mind state, you are already steps closer to achieving that quality that you aspire for.
The more you lift others like this, you lift yourself out of where you are, to where you want to be. You become kinder and more likeable, which results in attracting great people into your life. From just this one habit, you start building the life that you desire.
Determine what it is that we want from that feeling of jealousy, and put yourself to work to achieve what you want. Before you know it, you will no longer have a reason to be jealous. You have a dream life!