When I first started my business, I was a single mother with two young kids. I had no trust fund, no partner income, and no parents to lend me their garage or basement that I can live in until I made traction.
I had a job, but I hated it, and knew it wasn’t what I was meant to do. I focused on my coaching business. I worked on it in all my ‘free time’. I felt guilty leaving my children with an endless parade of sitters while I worked. I skipped exercise, and even though I made sure my children ate well, I was eating whatever was cheap, fast, and easy.
I knew I could do it.
I successfully grew my business to be my only work. Earning at first, 5k a month, and then, 20k a month. Working from home, I could have my kids after school. I thought things were going great.
The fact that I was exhausted, overworked, and had no time for myself was just temporary. It was part of it. I was hustling. I was accelerating. This is how you get what you want.
Or so I thought.
I was lying to myself. Telling myself that what I was doing was temporary, and” not that bad.”
Until the day I realized that I had gained 20lbs.
Worse yet, I felt sluggish, unhappy, and struggled to fit into my existing clothes. I certainly did not want to buy larger clothes to “encourage” the issue.
That’s when I realized what I’d done. I’d been so busy focusing on my business, and conscious parenting, that I completely neglected myself.
It’s typical for new entrepreneurs to neglect exercise and health because we are focusing so hard on our ‘next level’.
In fact, the freshman entrepreneur 20 lbs is a common phenomenon. It’s almost a rite of passage.
As I was getting my health back on track, I hired a holistic nutritionist, and started training with an amazing fitness trainer. During these sessions, I realized that I was having overwhelming thoughts and feelings about my health, as I used to think and feel about my business.
“That looks crazy hard.”
“Can I really do that?”
“When will this be over?”
Using this type of language never give you what you want. You immediately feel energy draining from your limbs, and looking forward to get to the end.
The same principles apply when it comes to our business mindset, as it does with optimal health.
Thoughts and words that automatically come up are a reflection of your true beliefs, buried in your subconscious mind.
Changing your belief deeply rooted in your subconscious is the only way to start achieving success.
How to Get What You Want:
It’s very simple.
It all starts with the right language.
All your decisions and actions come from the feelings that words make you feel.
Pay attention to the immediate language that comes up when you’re being pushed, challenged, or triggered. Your first, automatic response and language are what you actually believe in the deepest part of your mind.
Most people keep using language that generates anxiety, helplessness, and fear, which gives them what they don’t want. That’s why most people end up with recurring negative results.
FOLLOW THESE 5 SIMPLE STEPS ON HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT
- Ask yourself… “Does this thought help me?”
Without judging what comes up, ask yourself this powerful question. It doesn’t matter how REAL it feels, asking if it helps you, gives you an immediate new perspective. You want to use language that generates words and images that helps you, rather than deprecates you, takes away your power, or holds you back.
- Ask Yourself… “What thought/language will help me instead?”
Avoid using uncertain language, such as “I’m trying,” because it implies doubt that you may not make it. “Try” also implies struggle, so use “committed” instead. When you use the language “try,” you’re likely describing a pervasive, recurring problem that you’ve been working on, but haven’t had results around it. It also describes a conflict between your conscious and your subconscious desires, where you’re consciously trying, but your subconscious doesn’t yet believe it’s possible for you.
- Ask Yourself… “What do I want instead?”
Become clear of what you want. This is where you do research to see what’s possible.
When we don’t have results we consciously desire, our subconscious mind is rejecting that desire as “impossible.” Teach it new possibilities by looking for examples of what’s aligned with you, and what’s possible for you.
Going back to the health example I used, here’s a tangible way to understand how this concept is done.
While recently watching “Clueless,” (who else loves that movie?!) I realized that my body shape (when I’m trim) and height are similar to the young Alicia Silverstone. Therefore, when setting fitness goals, I would envision my future-body as a version of that body shape, rather than aiming for Kim Kardashian, JLo, or Beyonce. When you can have a clear, detailed picture of what you want, aligned with your natural authenticity, whether that’s in business, love relationships, or even health, that’s the first half of the battle won.
- Reinforce the new idea.
Tell your mind how safe and better it is for your survival, when you gather these desired results. If you feel resistance, or continuous lack of results, then there is unhelpful data in your subconscious that blocks you. Seek out stories of transformation from those similar to you, who share your similar story, those you feel aligned with. I did the same thing with growing my business, and also for my health. Better health became a requirement for growing my business even further.
- Celebrate every small step.
Imagine yourself as a baby learning to take your first steps in any area you wish to improve. POSITIVE reinforcement (not judgment and criticism) is what helps you improve. There are no exceptions to this rule. Only positive reinforcement creates lasting changes. Exaggerate even the smallest milestones met.
I celebrate every time I go to the gym and complete the workout that my trainer gives me. I celebrate every time I make a healthy food choice. In the earlier days of building my business, I did the same. I celebrated every sales call, even if I didn’t close. I celebrated every new client. I celebrated every single success my client had, and used that as confirmation that I am meant to do this, and that I’m excellent at this.
If you want to control your mind, brainwash it for success, and develop the mindset of a champion, follow these steps. Remember, Small successes build to big results.