Like most people, I used to look for happiness in places I never found.
We often come across highly successful people who are miserable in private, even with all their status and power.
I once came across a house being sold when the old man in there passed away. None of his 4 sons wanted anything to do with it. They sold the house “as is,” with all the furniture, junk, and 30 to 40 years of memories along with it, with family photographs strewn in the basement, and an old car that did not run properly in the garage. The house smelled of sadness. The home was abandoned a long time ago, and lacked even the slightest traces of love. The sons did not want anything to do with the memories. The house could have only equalled pain in their deepest, most private corner of their hearts.
If we were to end our lives like this old man, what is the point of life? Despite what damaging role he had played in his family, this man was human, with blood running in his veins… and he had feelings. Likely, even if his actions went against the outcome, he likely wanted happiness out of life. Like all of us.
Likely, he did not know where to look for it.
Did he look for it in a career? Did he continuously move onto the next thing, while he missed out on the important relationships in life? Did he chase after getting high with his drug of choice, whether that was work, alcohol, or being unable to stop himself from contaminating his loved ones with negativity and abuse?
Where did his life go so wrong? And what are the 4 sons doing about their own lives? Could they be repeating the cycle that they so desperately wanted to escape? Did they think that ignoring their old man, and abandoning their past, will help them become happy?
For much of my 20’s, I looked for happiness in food, alcohol, relationships, and forgetting about my worries and life’s challenges while I killed time with insignificant friends, who were also in this same cycle.
Some of these friends focused on education to carve out a path, just to stick to something, without thinking whether it was the right fit for them.
Some of them pursued careers that they did not want, because they felt they needed to do so in order to please others, or to gain approval.
Some, like me, decided to focus on a relationship that was a fixer-upper.
Newsflash: Happiness never came. Instead, the unhappiness became even more unbearable. It is the worst place to be at, to keep spinning your wheels, and not seeing the results you desire.
It took me years – almost 18 years – to find the truth. The truth is that, we are already born happy. Because happiness is your birthright.
Have you ever heard of a baby who is born unhappy? Negative? Cynical?
Even sick babies, as much as they may be uncomfortable, they are content and happy. Discomfort is conditional and momentary, based on their situation. They are able to recover to their happy state very quickly. We are born to be content. Then, as we grow older, we get bombarded with cynicism, and get taken away from who we are and what we aspire for ourselves. We don’t learn to handle life’s hurdles in a way that gives us courage to get up again. We are convinced, conditioned, crushed, suppressed, made fun of, and punched in the face over and over, until we give up and say, “Fine, this is how life is, and I accept it.”
Don’t accept it. Your life is not supposed to play out like this.
Happiness is in you. Once you dare yourself to be free of negative attachments, it is unconditionally yours. Only you can give happiness to yourself. You become the voice of courage, the example, and the love that you most need. You define your purpose. With such clarity, you will never be knocked away from your truth and your happiness again. It is yours for keeps, forever.
Go on, LIVE, and be happy!