LOVE & MONEY: HERE’S HOW YOU CAN “HAVE IT ALL”
JULY 12, 2019 BY JULIA CHA (EDIT)
The common concept of “Love VERSUS Money” is where the problem begins. It should be “Love AND Money.”
And I should also add…
“Watch what everyone else does – do the opposite. The majority is always wrong.” -Earl Nightingale
Everything starts with mindset.
We are raised in beliefs that puts love and money against each other. “Money can’t buy love,” “Love conquers all.”
Love and money are actually… one.
They are the same energy. Abundance is one energy. True wealth generates the same feelings as true love. True wealth is well beyond money. That’s what this article is about.
This nasty “love VS. money” was my personal mindset problem. It kept me poor during my early working years. I’m a hopeless romantic, a former practicing artist, and a dedicated parent. I believed I had to choose love over money, and that belief led me to believe that I had to have very little money so I can have love. This one single belief kept me poor!
It turns out, what you can give and enjoy in love is so limited when you have no money.
Saying “No” to both love and money is shooting yourself in the foot from receiving the abundance that is available all around you. You’re kicking the blessing right in the shin as if that’s your mortal enemy. Your true arch nemesis is your limited mindset.
You’re subconsciously choosing struggle.
Some people choose money instead of love. I also thought I had to do this. When I got tired of being poor, I believed that in order to have money, I had to make certain sacrifices.
That sacrifice meant that a healthy amount of money couldn’t be made doing what I love, and it also meant money had to come while sacrificing the time with my beloved family.
Again, I paid for that limited mindset. I luckily woke up when I saw that my late nights working didn’t serve my children. Their sweet behavior changed right before my eyes, rather so quickly.
When your home life and your love life fails, you crumble. There is no question about that. In the end, money is much more than just having money and having better and luxurious options.
When there is pain associated around money, you get rid of that earned income very quickly. People blow it on alcohol, gambling, shopping, buying the latest gadgets… even non-stop travels to soothe the pain.
The best thing money can do is that it can buy us time to be with those we love and focus on our values. How we get the money is also the source of the most incredible fulfilment.
I’m here to convince you that you can have both “Love AND Money.” I’m on that journey and I’m already living it. How?
After years of struggling from choosing one or the other, now I’ve created a profitable business that fulfils my deepest calling. Working from home gives me the opportunity to be close and available for my kids. I have full work-life integration.
My transformation began when I determined what I wanted and needed to enrich my life. It began with defining what my core values are, standing up for them, and making my loved ones a priority. Based on that, I made work become the perfect puzzle to enhance my priorities.
This is a huge achievement, and it’s something you can do as well.
Let’s go straight to the point. There are just 3 places to start to have an enriching, fulfilling, lasting, truly “successful” life…
The Keys To “Having It All.”
- A Purpose Or A Calling Tied To Your Career
Your real work is not your “job” or work, and may not even be your business. Your real work in this lifetime is your calling.
Your calling is tied to your deepest inner values. It’s what you want to create in this lifetime. This is about leaving a legacy behind, your true purpose of why you are here. Everyone has a calling, because everyone has their deepest values. Sometimes a calling is shaped by our experiences. Sometimes we see a need and we want to fulfill it. Sometimes it takes us time and experience to find it. At other times, we already know what that is from a very early age, as if we have transferred our calling from our past life time.
Your calling doesn’t necessarily have to be work that you get paid to do. Many people have charity callings and volunteer work. Acting upon your calling every day has a marvellous effect on the quality of your life. This can start small. Many people started blogs that grew huge, like Mark Manson, the author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck.” Some people start with volunteering, then they become the head of a charity. The possibilities are limitless.
Getting paid to turn work into your calling has great advantages. When you’re paid to do work that takes a lot of time and energy, you can focus more on that aspect and grow it exponentially. Money means you can give your all to this calling.
When your work is your calling, money is so easy, effortless, and automatic, and as your fulfilment grows, your life and bank account keeps expanding. Considering we spend at least 8-10 out of 24 hours of our day working, work being our calling is true heaven on Earth.
2. Loving, Supportive Relationships
We are all born into relationships. We are always a part of them. Relationship regrets are the most common issue for seniors in homes.
Having supportive, nurturing relationships requires a lot of self-development. It doesn’t require to change anyone you don’t get along with. It requires to only change yourself.
The more we’re self-aware, the better we are as friends, lovers, and partners. The better we are, the more capable we are in choosing and attracting those we are in full alignment with. When we become the best versions of ourselves, we change every existing dynamics, even old relationships, such as siblings and parents.
Healthy, honest, and supportive relationships enhance our lives. It gives us a great boost of creative energy, morale, certainty, and that unshakable confidence that we have what it takes, and that we truly deserve, to have it all.
3. Optimal Health
Without health, we can’t achieve our goals. Unless you’re Stephen Hawking.
You see, Stephen’s life shows the power of mindset and mental energy.
He achieved his calling, however, the quality of his life was massively affected by his health.
He lived his calling, lived his passion, had a dedicated family and a wife with kids… but he didn’t have health.
Some people will argue that this was out of control. It may have been for him, although, some doctors, such as Dr. Gabor Maté, will argue against this statement. He ties all chronic illnesses with emotional root causes and lack of appropriate coping skills.
The biggest indicator of optimal health is the level of appreciation we have of ourselves. We give ourselves what we believe we deserve. When we truly appreciate ourselves, we don’t give ourselves what’s convenient, but what we actually need. Needless to say, every favorable outcome is directly linked to the healthy relationship we have with ourselves.
Every block around health, finances, and relationships… every negative recurring patterns… every struggle has a not-so-strange direct relationship with what we believe we deserve, what’s available to us, and what’s possible for us. It is also closely tied to our deepest beliefs about what forms our identity.
Health is not just about remembering to eat healthy and exercising. It’s also about choosing the thoughts and beliefs we let in. It’s about the meanings we make about circumstances. In fact, most physical symptoms and diseases are caused by the feelings that the mind generates.
There are many cases of cancers and other chronic diseases that are emotionally rooted. As well, weight is not about calories in and calories out. It’s more than just food choices. It’s about what the mind believes it’s the best for the person. People have shed massive weight as they let go, forgive grudges, and feel secure of themselves… all without changing their diets dramatically.
Not sure where to start with this elusive idea of living your “calling”?
You can download my Legacy Worksheet to map out your current direction in your career, and gain clarity on moving forward.
Or schedule a call to discuss your specific situation and my solutions for living a satisfied life of passion, purpose, work-life integration and fulfilment.
About the Author:
Hi, I’m Julia Cha and I am a Rapid Transformational Therapist and Coach, working with high-achieving professionals and consultants.
I started coaching in 2016, after 4 years of mentorship with an accomplished and seasoned coach and therapist of 30 years who specializes working with tech entrepreneurs and consultants. I have worked with clients in more than 10 countries, across all continents except Antartica!
I am based in Vancouver, Canada, and I continue to work closely with all my international clientele.