THE HARDEST WORK IN LIFE
Everyone talks about entrepreneurship, parenting, or decades of marriage as the hardest work in life.
These are only symptoms where “the hardest work” gets tested the most.
There is only one work that is the hardest, and everything that seems hard are all reflections of how much the person has done *this* hardest work. –> to be revealed.
Everyone deserves to be happy, but not everyone makes the right choices to be happy.
For the sake of convenience, I’m going to focus just on career, and the mistakes people make in it.
Why is career often the biggest source of dissatisfaction?
Many people settle in shadow careers and live in dissatisfaction for decades.
What are shadow careers?
They are smaller, “realistic” careers, rather than what you really want.
Dissatisfied people believe that retirement is when they get to live their life, so they use weekends and vacations to gain temporary relief inside their “self-perpetuated hell.”
They are desperate for retirement, where they don’t need to be a part of this day in, day out pain.
How do you know that at 65 or at 75, or when you no longer have a family to raise, and no longer have a job you hate… you will be happy?
How can you know this for sure?
Let me give you a fast forward, spoiler answer… you won’t be happy. Instead, you’ll have a new pain to deal with: making peace with your decades of choices, and convince yourself that you had absolutely no other way, while you’re riddled in regret of how you blew your life doing things that you can’t even remember.
Now, why would this be, when it was all the circumstance’s fault?
Doesn’t it make sense that you’ll be happier when the circumstances are gone?
If you hate your job, doesn’t getting rid of that job and never having to work there again solve all your problems?
Far from the truth.
Asking the right questions give you the answers you’re looking for.
Getting to the real core of the question involves asking how you got there, and why you stayed in something you hated for so long.
In this case, circumstances are not relevant.
What is only relevant is the Conditioning behind why you believed you had to live like this, and why you believed you couldn’t change this.
Everyone has the same focus, time, and energy. If you spent decades betraying your deep inner desires, you won’t suddenly be greeted with satisfaction when that *thing* is gone.
Some people think it’s a “job issue,” so they quit and go into business. This is why the “become an entrepreneur and quit your job” has become such a money-making fad, especially in the last 5 years.
This is also a predictable pattern. First of all, the type of business that people choose when they are running away from their job, is something ridiculously conventional.
You ask them why, and they’ll say, “It makes money.”
“It gives me time flexibility.” “I can work from home.”
These people will not have longevity. If these reasons are the motivation for change, they’ll give up when it gets hard, and will not have a business in a few years.
So what do people choose when they run away? They businesses that seem to have a shiny promise, and not coincidentally, what every other LOST person is doing. Digital marketing. Real estate. Network marketing. Insurance. Mortgage brokers. And laugh with me… coaching!
It’s usually an industry where there are too many of them, with very low success rate, only because the bulk of the industry is full of people who are lost and are desperately needing to grab onto something.
In a crowd of the mass, you need to be different to stand out.
So what aspect of career change makes it legit? A.K.A. a right move?
Only this question: Is what you’re pursuing how you want to be known the day you die?
If you hesitate on this answer, it’s time to think deeper into where you want to be instead.
The hardest task in life? (drumroll please)…
Being your True Self.
If you spent most of your life thinking about something else, or procrastinating, then that’s a good sign that you need a massive life review.
If you wonder why motivation doesn’t hit you, and why you’re twirling your fingers, thinking that you need just one more business or career strategy to “make it,” you’re dead wrong.
Mozart didn’t need anyone to make him motivated. Nobody forced him into lessons. He was obsessed with black and white keys without anyone telling him that this is the cool thing to do today.
And his music? Sounded nothing like everyone else’s.
Why? Because his music is him at the most authentic level.
Every genius is the same. They are not copying anyone, nor making themselves fit into an acceptable mould.
Why are you here? What’s your genius?
You don’t know because you’ve suppressed it for too many years.
It’s easier to escape and not think. Keep busy.
You weren’t born this way.
Once, you knew how you wanted to make contribution.
You’ve been suppressed by your family’s and society’s subliminal, and often, not-so-subtle messages of what makes one successful, and without even knowing, you’ve been caving to that.
Conditioning is your only problem.
Anyone who says that they don’t know what they are meant to do, really do know deep inside.
You’re now too afraid to find out. Once you acknowledge it, life as you know it might be over.
Stop hopping from course to course, job to job, career to career, taking on more training (which gives you the feeling that you’re doing something progressive), and make a commitment to figure yourself.
Once you figure it out, buckle down and focus.
This is the only thing that will create real results and BUILD happiness.
A life worth living requires real risk and PROACTIVENESS.
It requires you to go against the grain.
It requires you to do what you currently consider as impossible.
All this time, you’ve been constantly reacting for survival. To be accepted by the mass, indoctrinated into normalcy, because acceptance and being part of something and success on their terms, means that you will be taken care of.
You needed certainty that a path will give you a set income or a lifestyle. This is also about scrambling for survival.
Happiness is not by default. You have to BUILD it to have it. Building it means you have to put focus, time, and energy to what matters.
A person who does 10 things has to put in 1/10 focus, time, and energy into each thing. Imagine a car trying to go 10 different directions: stuck. –> Is this, by any chance, you?
A person who is ALL IN puts in 10/10 energy towards what matters. This car accelerates when you step on the gas.
So, how did you get here? Why are you living a caricature version of the life that you deeply desire?
You’ve suppressed it for this long, and you don’t even know what that is anymore, but what you do know is that you’re feeling massive existential pain.
You’re flipping in pain, tossing and turning, like a fish out of water, experiencing a slow death…
The cure is to find yourself again. This is the hardest work in life.
Instead of doing what is expected of you, and what seems right to others, you have to do what is right for you.
You have to unpeeled the layers of shitty Conditioning.
You can talk to your therapists for hours and they won’t even know what to do with you, except to tell you that this prolonging issue means that you have a mental or hormonal imbalance, and prescribe you pills for the rest of your life.
They have no idea how to help you, because most therapists have never helped themselves in this area. Therapists treat depression, anxiety, sexual issues, addictions… they treat symptoms, without understanding that all of this can come from deep dissatisfaction of WHY YOU CAN’T BE YOURSELF.
Why do you believe that being yourself means rejection and ejection from your tribe?
Being yourself is met with the feelings of being skinned alive, burned alive, and being exposed and tortured. –> What it exactly feels like when you need to stand against the grains of normalcy.
What do you want?
How would you like to solve this massive existential pain for less than what it takes to see a therapist?
I’ve compiled the work I’ve been doing the last 3 years with clients into a course.
Are you someone who reads a good article, likes it, and walks away “uplifted,” or are you someone proactive? This is your life, and nobody can live this for you.
If you have any inkling that this article speaks to you, then trust me on this. This is for you.
If you’re a fluffy person who always makes excuses, then this is not for you. I only want to work with people who are proactive and WANT results, not those who sit back and expect magic, nor those who opt-in, only to not do the advised work.
It’s time for you to start taking responsibility for own happiness. Time is of essence, because the right use of time creates exponential results.
Working in a shadow career, and living your real purpose, both take work. Both take pain. Both take a lot of effort.
The outcomes are entirely different.
You can take your time and energy to please and appeal to those who conditioned you to become limited and dissatisfied, or you flip the switch, take control, and win in your life.
When you do what you want, and when you’re all in, even the pains feel like pleasure.
Start now to reclaim yourself for less than 1/10 of how much you’ll end up paying a therapist when your life is almost over: CLICK HERE.
About the Author:
Hi, I’m Julia Cha and I am an Executive and Business Support Coach, working with high-achieving professionals and consultants.
I started coaching in 2016, after 4 years of mentorship with an accomplished and seasoned coach and therapist of 30 years who specializes working with tech entrepreneurs and consultants. I have worked with clients in more than 10 countries, across all continents except Antartica!
I am based in Vancouver, Canada, and I continue to work closely with all my international clientele.
You can download my Legacy Worksheet to map out your current direction in your career, and gain clarity on moving forward.
Or schedule a call to discuss your specific situation and my solutions for creating your upward spiral and living a satisfied life of passion, purpose, work-life integration and fulfilment.